The Twinkie Defense

I’ve come up with the ultimate U.S. presidential candidate:

The Hostess Twinkie.

Think of the advantages:

  • It’s attractive, with a smooth unblemished appearance.
  • It will outlast any human candidate.
  • It can stonewall any reporter’s question.
  • It has no past.
  • It won’t invade another country without Congress’ approval.
  • It’s delicious and sugary, and thus appealing to children and the overweight – 90 percent of Americans right there.
  • It won’t lie or spin.