mighty forces

“Twilight”

I finally watched “Twilight,” because it was such a pop-culture phenomenon I felt I had to.

Because I am not – contrary to reports – a teenage girl, I’m afraid I just didn’t get it. The two leads were not attractive or interesting in any way, and no character in the movie was allowed to advance beyond the “plot device stereotype” level. Something like “True Blood,” with all its problems, has much more life and juice than this leaden exercise.

The cinematography is beautiful, when you can see it through the shroud of darkness that hangs over everything. But without a real story or characters you care about, it’s not enough.

It was inevitable that this movie, based on a blockbuster book series, would be made. But just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should.

Tale of two movies

Two movies, both adapted from books by Chuck Palahniuk. “Fight Club” was directed by David Fincher of “Seven.” “Choke” was directed by Clark Gregg, best known as the ex-husband on “The New Adventures of Old Christine.”

The outcome is seemingly self-explanatory.

Which is too bad, because my love of Sam Rockwell (“Confessions of a Dangerous Mind” and a sexy and funny Zaphod Beeblebrox in “Hitchhiker’s Guide”) knows few bounds. I haven’t read “Choke,” but with Palahniuk I have a feeling that the source material is exponentially more wild and interesting than was put on the screen. Well, maybe next time.

Lakeview Terrace

I was looking for a movie where the bad guy got his spectacular, violent comeuppance, and I was not disappointed. I guess the word of the week is “catharsis.”

Andromeda Strain

Watched the four-hour “Andromeda Strain” remake on A&E last night. It was somewhat difficult to believe Eric McCormack as a hard-bitten by-his-own-rules reporter, but I think that had less to do with “Will & Grace” as it did with the stupidity of the character stereotype overall. Other than that, it was a workmanlike, at times mildly entertaining shaggy dog story, as pretty much all “the world is ending and only X can save it” movies are. Because let’s face it, if Demi Moore is the last best hope for humanity, we might as well pack it in right now.

Even at four hours, the script doesn’t do anything with the interesting bits scattered throughout, like making Rick “Ricky” Schroeder into a closeted gay Army Major, or casting the movie President as a young, telegenic guy with an equally young, telegenic wife and daughter. So you’re left with the cast of people we don’t know who die horribly, and the cast of middling stars impersonating the “last best hope” scientists.

My recommendation? Rent “The Core.” Seriously.